


Chain of Secrets

by magicdoses



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Episode: s05e03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26260300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicdoses/pseuds/magicdoses
Summary: Merlin was done with concealing his magic from Arthur, longing to be understood and accepted by him more than anyone else in the world. Thereafter, in a moment of utmost trust and great hope, he decided to reveal his true nature, changing the entire course of Camelot’s history and Arthur’s destiny, but the question was: for the better or worse?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 648





	Chain of Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [regulusrules](https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulusrules/gifts).



> Kindly note that I have written this magic reveal before watching the finale! This one shot is set in Episode 3 of Season 5: The Death Song of Uther Pendragon.

“What you did there was great, saving that sorceress.”  
  
Merlin’s tone was usually light. It sounded the same now, but laced with it was undeniable cautiousness. Arthur didn’t fail to notice that and looked at his manservant instead of the road ahead to Camelot, still riding his horse as gracefully as if he was giving it half the attention he was giving the man beside him. Merlin smiled one of his rare smiles; the same one which reached his ears. Arthur didn’t find it in himself to return the cheerfulness. The expression he was wearing on his face remained unreadable until he uttered the next few words.  
  
“My father would have never approved of what I did,” said Arthur, seeming as if he was lost in deep thoughts—and he indeed was. They revolved around the magical instrument which the anonymous sorceress had given him as a gift. Could he see Uther one more time? And would Uther be pleased to see him once more, or would he curse the day his son was born in because he had used dark magic to be reunited with his father?  
  
“You’re different from Uther.” Merlin was proud of that fact and he made sure that it showed in how he spoke. “The age of fearing an unjustified punishment because of prejudices is long gone. You will never kill an innocent man and feel guilty for it when it’s too late. Uther would have burned that witch alive with the help of these cruel people of that village, whether she committed a crime worth a death sentence or not. You are fairer than him.”  
  
“You have a tendency to surprise me with—what’s the suitable word? Ah, wisdom,” said Arthur, half–smiling. “In spite of being the most lazy, clumsy, unprofessional—”

  
“I’m glad to be of service, sire.” Merlin chuckled and Arthur couldn’t stop himself from joining the fit of laughter. Deep down, he was certain he wouldn’t come across another friend who knew the right thing to say when Arthur’s judgment was clouded. Not even his dear knights could do that. It was one of Merlin’s surprising gifts.   
  
When the two of them stopped laughing, silence fell. It was relaxing for the King, as he had pushed his doubts to the back of his head for the time being. However, it was nerve–wrecking for his manservant. Merlin’s head was spinning around with different possibilities, and his heart was hammering in his ribcage. Was this the right moment to open up to Arthur, the man he trusted the most? Would Arthur accept that trust and Merlin’s reasons for keeping his true identity a secret, or would he view it as an act of betrayal?  
  
_If Arthur showed remorse to an unknown witch, he would find it in himself to show it to me, too. He would understand—in the end, no matter how shocking the truth was going to be in the beginning._ _  
_ _  
_ _Arthur wouldn’t abandon me._  
  
The image of Arthur banishing or sentencing Merlin to death made Merlin shudder. He could feel a lamp in his throat and a burn in the back of his eyes. Luckily, it all went unnoticed while Arthur got off his horse and tied it to a tree, announcing that a break from the trip was needed. Merlin went to grab wood to make a fire as told. He was grateful because he had time alone to rehearse his speech now. Arthur was waiting for him beside the horses. It wasn’t the first time Merlin had done this—preparing a method to use in revealing his magic to Arthur.  
  
All the words Merlin had once itched into his mind, stored for the right moment, evaporated into thin air. When he returned and stood right in front of the King of Camelot, he was completely tongue–tied. Merlin lowered the wood on the ground with shaking hands and kept reminding himself that Arthur Pendragon was his best friend, not just the owner of the throne. He found reassurance in that.  
  
“Arthur.” Merlin’s tone didn’t tremble as he thought it would, but there was a flash of unmistakable fear in it. Arthur didn’t just hear it; he _felt_ it to his bones.  
  
“What is it?” Arthur was concerned. He looked up at Merlin who was now thinking of a thousand lies to tell him instead of what he had originally planned, but he knew that none of them would convince Arthur after he saw how afraid Merlin currently was. “Did someone hurt you?”  
  
“No.” Merlin shook his head in the same instant Arthur asked, but Arthur didn’t quite believe him. The sudden change in his friend’s aura confirmed that something wrong had indeed happened.  
  
“Tell me the name of that person and I will give them a well–deserved punishment,” said Arthur in full authority. When Merlin didn’t speak immediately, Arthur went on. “You should fear no man when I’m King, Merlin.”  
  
“No one has harmed me.” Merlin promised Arthur.  
  
“Then what is the source of your fear?” Arthur asked and Merlin heard his voice as a faint whisper in spite of how strong it actually was. The warlock’s heartbeats were drumming in his ears, Arthur’s voice was the only one penetrating through it. Not the harsh wind, not the howling fox—just Arthur’s.  
  
“You, Arthur.” Merlin said, his fingers were gripping the fabric of his tunic anxiously. “I have a confession to make.”  
  
“You shouldn’t fear me, out of all people.” Arthur didn’t expect that kind of answer from Merlin. He was shocked. “But I’m listening.”  
  
“I—” It Merlin longer than what Arthur’s patience could take to speak. The words were stuck at his throat.  
  
Arthur stood up from the ground, moving closer to Merlin. He tried to make a joke in order to lighten his friend’s nervousness. He was certain that Merlin’s confession was going to turn out to be ridiculous. “Is this a confession of your secret, undying love for me?”  
  
The King laughed, winking. “It is nothing to be ashamed of. Camelot’s women are enchanted by my charms and I’m sure that some of its men aren’t immune to them, either.”  
  
“You will always be an arrogant prat,” Merlin said, chuckling as if he had forgotten all about what he was going to confess.  
  
“I’m the King of Camelot and I allow you to get away with addressing me like that, so there’s nothing to be afraid of, dollophead.” Arthur assured Merlin, still smiling. “Just say it, whatever it is.”  
  
“I’m—” Merlin hesitated for the hundredth time that night. He thought that confessing his secret, undying love for Arthur wouldn’t be as bad as admitting that he had magic. “I’m a sorcerer.”  
  
“You? A sorcerer?” Arthur scoffed, looking at Merlin as if he had grown a second head. “For God’s sake, Merlin, don’t put effort into making up nonsense for the sake of entertainment.”  
  
“Is it too hard to believe?” Merlin asked, swallowing hard. His voice was low.  
  
“Yes, Merlin.” Arthur laughed, currently sounding more as his old arrogant self rather than the wise King he had become. “You are frightened of your own shadow. However, sorcerers rarely are—unless they are caught, of course. That’s a whole different story. And oh, Merlin, none of them are ever as thick as you are. Sorcerers would never come to the King and admit their crimes. It’s like asking for a death wish.” 

“So in conclusion, I’m a stupid coward.” Merlin said, his tone was a combination of frustration and anger. “I will never amount to anything other than being a servant who wishes to bother his master to entertain himself?”   
  
“You are proving that further by completing this silly act of yours when I have made it quite plain that I’m not in the mood for it,” said Arthur. “We’ve to return to Camelot before dawn. God knows what tricks Morgana might be planning when I’m not in the Kingdom. I have to defend our people, not to listen to lies.”  
  
“I can defend them with you,” said Merlin sincerely. “I will always be willing to give up my life for you and Camelot.”  
  
Arthur didn’t speak for a while, the amusement was gone from his expression. It was replaced with deep thoughtfulness. His voice was void of mockery when he opened his mouth. “There, Merlin. That’s why you can’t be a sorcerer. I might have saved the sorceress from being burned alive, but she’s an exception. Almost all the ones I have encountered from her kind have turned out to be evil. A sorcerer won’t be willing to sacrifice themselves for goodness.” 

“Maybe not all of them are bad,” Merlin said.  
  
“But most of them are,” Arthur replied. “Now lighten the fire for us, sorcerer.”

Arthur was mocking Merlin’s nonsense, so he smiled challengingly. With a deep breath, Merlin spoke with an unfamiliar language Arthur couldn’t understand in the slightest bit. The voice of the sorcerer was loud and clear. Instantly, the wood he had collected previously from the forest turned into flames. He commanded them to be blown off after a moment and the night became dark again, without a single blaze except the one which was raging in Arthur’s heart. 

He felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

“Your orders, my Lord.” Merlin tried to smile.  
  
In an instant, Merlin was thrown into the ground with his best friend’s sword pointed at his throat. Arthur’s chest was heaving up and down in pure anger and disbelief. He clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on the hilt of his weapon because he feared that his hand might shake, but even then—he couldn’t do it. Not to Merlin, out of all the innocent people he would rather die for than kill. But the question was: _was Merlin even innocent?_  
  
“Are you going to kill me, Arthur?” The warlock asked, fear vanished from his voice. It regained its usual boldness and strength. He trusted Arthur Pendragon with his life. “I have been your guardian angel for many years now. This isn’t how I should be repaid, although I’m not looking for rewards. Your forgiveness is all I want; it’s all I’m begging for.”  
  
“Merlin,” Arthur said very warningly. “Whatever spell or enchantment you are under, I will free you of it. Just don’t do something you will regret and I will do the same.”   
  
“I will never hurt you, Arthur. You know that,” Merlin said, sounding more genuine and sincere than he had ever done before. “And you know deep down in your heart that I’m not under the effect of a spell or an enchantment. I have magic.”  
  
“This—This has got to be a trick!” Arthur shouted, unable to keep his voice low. “My most trusted servant isn’t of the same mold as the ones who have brutally killed my parents and attempted to doom my kingdom!”  
  
Arthur’s views towards magic had been corrupted, and Merlin didn’t blame him. His knowledge of sorcery was small and limited. He only knew of the pain it brought, having witnessed both of his parents die because someone meddled with it and having Camelot suffer because of Morgana. 

He didn’t know of its grace and mercy. He didn’t know that he was solely breathing in this very present moment because Merlin had used magic to save him plenty of times before. He didn’t know that Camelot would have fallen ages ago without it. The right time for this to change had come. Merlin was well–aware that Arthur wasn’t as cold hearted as his father was, but he still wasn’t merciful when it came to sorcerers.  
  


“You’re right. I’m not, Arthur.” Merlin agreed. “Not all of those who practice magic are evil. I have never abused it, or used it for my own benefit and pleasure.”  
  
“But you have betrayed me!”  
  
“I have never betrayed you and I never will! I swear on my mother’s life! Think about it, I had countless chances before to cause actual damage to Camelot, but I never used them. I don’t have it in me to hurt the people I love, or even their loved ones. If Uther had found out about my powers, he would have burned me alive. You know that too well. He was a constant threat to my existence, but I didn’t dare to harm him in the slightest bit. And it was all for you, Arthur. Just you,” Merlin said.  
  
Arthur didn’t respond for a few minutes which felt like a lifetime to Merlin. The King used the silence to process his manservant’s words, to give them an actual thought without allowing his rage to swallow him. Merlin wasn’t a liar. He could have killed both Arthur and Uther if he wanted to. Hell, he could have _actually_ betrayed Arthur and worked as a spy for Morgana. But he didn’t, in spite of how badly Arthur knew he had treated him before. The manservant’s loyalties lied with his King and no one else’s.  
  
The Pendragon withdrew his sword and threw it aside, turning around and giving Merlin his back. Merlin touched the skin where Arthur’s sword was pointed at and found that it wasn’t even scratched.  
  
“You—You didn’t betray my trust by stabbing me in the back, Merlin.” Arthur’s tone had calmed down, he was sighing heavily. “You betrayed it by keeping me in the shadows, by making me think of you as someone you certainly aren’t. I thought of you as an idiot, but it turns out that there’s no idiot here other than me, is there? After all, I believed that in the end of the day, you were—”  
  
“Your friend? Because yes, I was and am still your friend, Arthur. And it is because I’m your friend and not a mere servant that I have chosen to refuse the great temptation of my powers and to live the life of an overlooked pawn for absolutely no one’s sake other than yours. And I would gladly do it again. I would risk it all for you to complete being the man everyone has always wanted you to be, the good man I’m a hundred percent certain you are, in whatever way you may think is foul—but it is what it is.  
  
You have to know that I didn’t choose this, though. I didn’t choose to be a naturally born warlock, or to be destined to protect you, but I did wholeheartedly choose to be your friend,” Merlin said when he cut Arthur off. “If you think that what I have done is a crime worth punishing and that you can’t forgive me, I won’t fight you off. I will die knowing that I’m finally free.”  
  
“Free?” Arthur faced Merlin now.  
  
“Yes, I’m free of the chain of my secret.” Merlin smiled sadly, tears were forming in the corners of his blue gleaming eyes, blurring his vision. “You know the truth now. My life is at your mercy, Arthur.”

When Merlin said those words, a spectrum of painful emotions exploded inside his chest and he was unable to hold back what he was feeling for much longer. It all hurt, revealing his secret and receiving the rejection of the person he longed to be understood and accepted by the most. The wound cut too deep, harsher than the sharpest blade in all kingdoms. And Merlin was helplessly bleeding out. 

Warm teardrops rolled down his cheeks like waterfalls, the sound of his cries wasn’t low. It was loud, fulfilled with a round of raw pain. He was trembling like a leaf, terrified of what awaited him. Even if the King wasn’t going to kill him, would he banish him from Camelot as an alternative? Would he force him to remain far from his friends and people? Far from Arthur himself whom he couldn’t bear his absence? Would he—

Instead of ordering Merlin to stand up, Arthur knelt to be on the same level as his. Taking the young warlock off guard, the King pulled him into his strong arms and whispered comforting words. Merlin cried even more, wrapping his arms back around Arthur. It was a tender embrace, one that expressed deep regrets and needed apologies. Merlin accepted the unsaid words without an ounce of hesitation, in a single heartbeat. 

Arthur started to caress Merlin’s head, his gloved hand was brushing the soft black curls. The warlock leaned more into the King’s soothing touch, his sobs began calming down the moment he heard Arthur’s words. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
  
“You—You don’t hate me for who I am?” Merlin whispered, uncertain.  
  
“I will never hate you for who you are, Merlin. In fact, I will never hate you at all,” Arthur replied, his voice was the exact opposite of Merlin’s. It was full of certainty. “I shouldn’t have lashed out like that, I—”  
  
Merlin shook his head. “It’s fine, I knew it wouldn’t go too well in the beginning. I should have told you earlier, I was just—”  
  
“Afraid, I understand,” Arthur said, interrupting Merlin. “I don’t want you to ever be afraid of me. I know I have acted as father would have, but I’m not him. I will never hurt you.”  
  
“I know.” Merlin’s voice was full of unwavering steadiness. 

He moved his head from being buried into Arthur’s shoulders to being directed at his gaze. Arthur’s chest tightened at the sight of Merlin’s bloodshot eyes, so Arthur made a joke to clean up the mess he had made even for a little.  
  
“So, you could have really taken me apart with less than one blow, couldn’t you?” Arthur asked, narrowing his shimmering blue eyes. Merlin laughed, remembering the memory his friend was referring to.   
  
“I still can.” Merlin shrugged, smiling. Arthur hit him playfully on the head, earning an ‘ouch’ and a death glare from Merlin before Merlin’s expression and tone turned dead serious. “But I will never hurt you, either. You are my destiny, Arthur Pendragon.” 

Right then, the beginning of a new era for sorcerers started. A new era where Arthur chose to permit magic in the lands of Camelot, where he chose to erase the ages of fear and injustice his father had created. Thereafter, the Once and Future King earned a longer life—a life where he defeated Morgana’s army and was never threatened by Mordred, where he breathed the same air as his beloveds and most importantly, where the light of kind blue eyes guided him through it all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feedback will be much appreciated!


End file.
